Gospel Reflections #1144: When deep wounds over rule us

2 Samuel 19:5 ‘Then Joab went into the palace and came before the king, and said, “Today you have brought shame upon all your servants—those who have saved your life, the lives of your sons and daughters, and the lives of your wives and concubines.”’

This is the scene in which Joab, the commander of the army, delivered an extremely stern ‘admonition (reprimand)’ to King David, who, although he had escaped the greatest crisis—his son’s rebellion—was wavering between personal sentiment and justice.

Absalom, King David’s son, had staged a coup, plunging Israel into a fierce civil war.

However, the army led by Joab, the commander-in-chief on David’s side, suppressed the rebellion, and Absalom, now a traitor, was killed in battle.

The servants who had fought at the risk of their lives and led the king to victory should, in all fairness, have been praised as triumphant generals.

Yet David, having lost his son, was overcome with deep grief and continued to weep, crying out, ‘Oh, my son Absalom! If only I had died in your place!’

As a result, although the army had won the battle, they were forced to return to the city in shame, as though they had committed a crime and were fleeing.

Joab was furious that David’s blind, overprotective love for his son was trampling on the loyalty of the men who had saved the kingdom.

Joab saw through the reality that if the king continued to weep like this, the morale of his men would plummet completely, and they would lose patience and desert him—meaning the kingdom would collapse once more.

Joab confronted David with the fact that it was his servants who had saved his life and the lives of the entire royal family.

In the verse following this remark, Joab went so far as to declare, ‘You love your enemy (Absalom) and hate your allies (your servants)’, and issued a stern warning that unless he went out immediately before the people to encourage them, no one would follow him any longer.

Although David was overcome with deep sorrow as a father, as the king (and leader) of a nation, he had to prioritise the peace of the community and his gratitude towards his subordinates over his own emotions.

This scene illustrates the risk of plunging the whole community into crisis by becoming consumed by personal feelings.

Although Joab’s words appear extremely disrespectful and ruthless, it is also true that, for David at that time, only such strong language could have brought him back to his senses.

For us, too, accepting objective ‘unpleasant truths’—free from emotion—is sometimes the key to averting disaster.

When we become emotional or sentimental, we lose the ability to make sound judgements.

At such times, harsh words can ultimately give us the resolve to take that next step, more so than mere words of comfort.

Rather than seeking words that appeal to our emotions, we should strive to accept words that allow us to look at ourselves calmly.

AUTHOR'S BIO: This Gospel Reflections page is written by Masae San, who resides in Hiroshima, Japan. Masae is a dedicated student of the Bible with a deep passion for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She shares her daily reflections on Gospel perspectives to reach out to others and spread the message of God's true love through a Christ-centered approach. We are sharing her insights here so that you, too, can experience the joy that comes from knowing and understanding the true Gospel and the love of God through Jesus Christ.